By now, we all know the term “doing school,” or the phenomenon of achieving without purpose. Today’s teenagers are programmed to do— DO take as many challenging AP classes as possible, DO nudge that GPA up to a 4.2, DO join that extra extracurricular, DO go out for the school band even though you have no interest in playing the trombone! Sure, “doing” can build soft skills like time management and responsibility while enhancing the resume, but it also can be exhausting for teenagers. Understanding their motivations (“why”) builds self-awareness for a more meaningful future. Colleges value deep focus over shallow exploration.
As parents, you can help your teen discover their “why.” Here are five actionable tips to guide them:
- Spark Curiosity: Encourage exploration of different subjects and activities, even those outside their comfort zone. Attend workshops, visit museums, or watch documentaries together to broaden their horizons.
- Facilitate Reflection: Regularly ask open-ended questions about their interests, what energizes them, and what problems they care about. Create space for journaling or quiet contemplation. Make it a point to have meaningful conversations at the dinner table on topics that interest them (even if it doesn’t interest you).
- Connect Interests and Strengths to Impact: Help them see how their passions can translate into real-world contributions. Research part-time jobs or volunteer opportunities related to their interests. 16personalities.com offers a terrific (free and easy!) personality test to help your teenagers tap into their strengths.
- Value Exploration Over Outcome: Emphasize the learning process and personal growth rather than solely focusing on achievements or accolades. Celebrate effort and curiosity, as this will lead to a natural alignment of activities.
- Model Self-Awareness: Share your own journey of discovering your purpose and values. Talk openly about your interests and how they guide your decisions.
While gold stars signify achievement, a North Star provides direction and purpose. By implementing these simple strategies, you can guide your teenager toward a more intentional and fulfilling path.
Helping you soar sooner,
Carrie
